HOLLY HEATHER
  • Home
  • Blog
    • Birth Stories
    • Musings, Moans and Motherhood
  • BirthCalm
  • Babycalm
  • ToddlerCalm
  • Birth Preparation
  • Support
  • Contact

Alba's half birthday

4/14/2017

0 Comments

 
Today we've been celebrating my eldest's half birthday. She is the most head strong, determined, feisty little creature now, but oddly she was the calmest baby. I can remember I kept waiting for it to get difficult, almost embarrassed to tell people that I was finding my baby to be quite a chilled one. 
Quite early on, I discovered attachment parenting. A lot of its principles seemed to fit nicely into what I was doing anyway- breastfeeding, not bothering with much routine, and using a sling a lot of the time. This started just for convenience with dog walking but soon morphed into a way to keep her happy and be able to carry on with normal life. The more enveloped in this lifestyle and journey into what five years ago felt like anti-mainstream parenting, the more tools I discovered that worked for us. Bedsharing. Cloth nappies. Gentle discipline. I found a tribe of very similar mums, both online and in real life and soon forgot that the way I was parenting could be seen by others as anything other than normal. 
The last few days I've been familiarising myself with the Babycalm book in preparation for my upcoming training. Everything in it stems from science and evolution. Instead of treating babies like a problem that needs a solution, the book gives you a range of tools and ideas to help calm them, and to give you confidence that you are raising a very normal human infant not a monster manipulator. 
I would urge any new mums or mums to be to find a copy. It really is an absolute essential read and I hope it generates as many lightbulb moments for you as it did for me the first time around.
Picture
0 Comments

Rise of the She Wolf

12/31/2016

0 Comments

 


Shall I be honest?

The last week of 2016 has hit me like a ton of bricks.

Someone I adored with every fibre of my being let me down in the worst way imaginable.

I am a positive human. An optimist. Glass is half full. Look on the bright side. Learn the lesson. Look for the silver lining.

An insanely brave colleague and friend of mine who has been though a shit time linked me to this blog and challenged me to look for 30 things I'm proud of from 2016. Ok it was meant to be 50, but I turn 30 in 2017 so that felt more appropriate. 

I urge anyone else who has found 2016 challenging, upsetting or difficult to have a think of your list too. 

I get to start 2017 as a fresh chapter. Back where I started the year- just me and my girls. And I'm calling this the year of the She Wolf. You can follow my adventures here.

​30 things I'm proud of:

1. My Alba. Fiesty, firey, strong, passionate, clever, confident.

2. My Effie. Friendly, cuddly, kind, caring, happy, hilarious.

3. My family. My fantastically independent sister. My inspirational mother. My resilient father.  My compassionate kinda step dad.

4.  My female frienships. My Queens. I hope to be the kind of friend who is always there, without question.

5. That I manage to keep a cottage, garden and car running mostly by myself.

6. That I walked away from Natal Hypnotherapy when it was working for me anymore and found Suzy and The Calm Birth School instead.

7. That I've done ok on self care this year. I've exercised, I've spoilt myself, I've looked after myself well.

8. My relationship with my ex husband. Rocky and turbulent at times, he's actually one of my best friends and we've almost got co-parenting down to an art form.

9. Calm Birthing Calm Parenting. The tribe is growing! 

10. All my first time mums who've rocked their births this year. (and that I've helped them achieve this.)

11. All my second time mums who've healed previous birth experiences. (and that I've helped them achieve this.)

12. The tattoos I chose to have this year. My crown. My wolf. 

13. How well I sat through them and breathed away the discomfort.

14. That I breastfed Effie until March. 2 1/4 years of the good stuff!

15. That I drove me and my girls all the way to Plymouth and back for our camping adventure.

16. That despite being a "dog is for life" kind of girl, I held my hands up and admitted defeat when it got too much. She is happy, safe and so loved now.

17. I drove to Bristol twice for doula training.

18. I've embraced and enjoyed living on my own.

19. I make the best chocolate brownies.

20. I have rediscovered myself. I enjoy dressing up and going to the pub and socialising again, something I thought had died off when I became a mum.

21. That after a 9 year relationship and two babies, I have been able to enjoy sexual relationships with new people and feel comfortable and attractive in my skin.

22. That I had the courage to date again.

23. That I allowed myself to fall in love completely.

24. That I fell in love with someone in a difficult situation, and instead of running scared, I met it head on and embraced it.

25. The fact that my first reaction to my boyfriends new baby being born was excitement.

26. That I allowed him precious family time with his newborn that put me at the bottom of the priority list. But I did so with a loving open heart.

27. That the short time we had together healed so much damage from my marriage. I felt loved, supported, happy and safe. These are the memories I will cherish.

28. I am so proud that I walked away. That when I discovered betrayal, I walked away because I know my worth.

29. That I have a huge loving heart that will never be totally broken or hardened. I have absolute faith that there is someone worthy of the love I have to share.

30. That I am a She Wolf. Loyal, proud, strong, vunerable, soft, loving.


Picture
0 Comments

Lianna's Story (Part 2)- Staying Positive When Labour Misbehaves

11/17/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
So when we left Lianna after part 1, her positive pregnancy had been hampered by the discovery of obstetric cholestasis and despite initially resisting induction, her and Dan has spent some time weighing up the risks and benefits and felt they were making an informed choice to get labour started.

"We arrived at 8am and at midday I was given a 24 hour pessary to try and make my cervix favourable enough for them to break my waters. Thanks to Holly and my research I knew that after this stage there was a good chance my body could take over on its own and I really wanted as little intervention as possible so requested not to be monitored or to have a second pessary and to be simply left the maximum amount of time between each intervention to give my body the opportunity to take over.

We spent the rest of that day enjoying our last moments together just the two of us. As I was classed as high risk we couldn't go home to wait with their blessing despite my protests so we walked around Chichester (although we were told to stay off site we figured what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them) enjoyed a meal in a cafe and then headed back to spend the night in hospital. We didn't sleep that night thanks to some impressive lungs on another woman on the ward but I was full of anticipation.

I awoke at 6am to my waters breaking. I was so pleased I nearly rolled out of bed trying to get Dan's attention as he slept in the recliner next to me. I knew that my body now needed to enter active labour on its own within 24-48hours before they would push me to have synthetic oxytocin due to the risk of infection so we were now on a timer as I knew I didn't want that.

Contractions started later that morning and were very manageable. They brought with them huge excitement and I walked and bounced away on my ball to encourage them along. Then we were due for monitoring of baby and because they were so busy I ended up on the monitor for two hours on my back due to short wires...of course all my contractions stopped at this point.

As soon as I was off the monitors we went walking around the hospital and luckily the contractions came back, closer together. We ate dinner with Dan's Mum whilst they were five minutes apart and by the time we got back to our bay they were ramping up. When I was no longer able to maintain a conversation whilst breathing I asked to be examined and was told "you are in too much control you won't be far enough along yet" I could have argued it there but decided to take a bath instead as they were so busy on the ward. The bath felt nice and it was incredible at this point to have time and space to ourselves away from a busy ward having not been able to labour at home and it definitely all moved very quickly from there so would highly recommend it for anyone else needing to be induced. After the bath I was examined-5 centimetres and up the stairs I went.

All the staff had been good up to this point on ante natal but I have to say from the second we were on labour ward the staff became incredible. They read through my preferences and seemed really excited to be having a hypnobirthing set of preferences and instantly helped us to be creative with lights (some angling of the examination light and a scarf covering it!) and to put our music on.

I breathed through the contractions through the night with the help of gas and air, counting and focusing and managing to sleep between them. No screaming, no panic, no crying. It was almost like when a crisis happens and you have to cope and be calm to get through it and then afterwards you think, wow that was really intense! I had to be monitored the whole time due to the cholestasis but was standing or sat on the edge of the bed leaning over Dan the whole time.

I only came out of the zone at 3am when a dozy wasp flew into the room-cue a mildly panicked midwife and husband who has a fear of flying bugs! Wasp danger averted and we went back to focusing. I asked for a paracetamol for the back pain and was laughed at but it really helped! We found out later that Flynn was back to back despite my efforts on the ball!

By the next morning I was fully dilated but didn't have any urges to push and then the contractions started to slow down. I felt something wasn't right and the midwives agreed. We decided to try everything we could and if that didn't work to ask the consultant to examine me. The midwives were so amazing, leaving the room and telling us to cuddle to create more oxytocin, helping me move the monitor cables so that I could try different positions. At one point contractions started again and it felt like baby was really trying to come so they rushed in, only for all contractions to suddenly stop. I feel like baby tried to come out and then stopped when he realised all the barriers ahead.

We called the consultant but be was busy in theatre but recommended I have the synthetic oxytocin which I refused as I had the strongest instinct it wasn't the way to go and I waited for him to come out of theatre. When he examined me he found cheeky baby was chin up, back to back and his head was badly positioned against pelvis so he was a square peg in a round hole! He said it was lucky I didn't have the oxytocin as could have really damaged baby's head against my pelvis.

C section was then scheduled and baby was with us an hour later! Even though it was an induction and a section, two things I ultimately didn't want, I found the whole experience to be positive and very calm throughout- the midwives looking after us couldn't believe how calm we were and at staff changeover half way through labouring my new Midwife actually thought I had an epidural!

A huge thank you needs to go to Holly and the Calm Birth School from Dan, Myself and baby Flynn for such a wonderful positive and calm birth experience."

​Lianna Wilding
Picture
0 Comments

Lianna's Story (part 1)- Staying Calm in the Face of Obstetric Cholestatis

11/16/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture


"I had an incredibly easy pregnancy for the majority of it and really loved every second of it. I was one of the lucky ones who had no morning sickness or aches and pains despite a very sizeable bump and lots of cries of 'are you sure it isn't twins?' which of course I laughed politely at each time. I think I actually felt better during pregnancy than before as I was pacing myself during my long work weeks and no longer working until midnight or weekends.

When things started to become difficult at about 32 weeks I felt it was only fair considering I had an easy run so far. My feet and hands quickly began to swell in the sweltering summer heat and I became itchy which I put down to the swelling and heat rash. When my feet and hands resembled that of Frodo in the Shire, I asked to be checked a few times for pre eclampsia as I had a feeling that something wasn't quite right. All tests came back clear so I continued to dunk my feet in buckets of ice to relieve the swelling and the itching and tried to balance keeping my feet elevated with keeping active to prevent baby wiggling into a back to back position.

It was around this time that my husband and I spent a weekend with Holly Heather learning how to have a calm birth. I was already interested in hypnobirthing thanks to an article written by Giovanna Fletcher and I knew the power of positive attitude thanks to teaching so figured we had nothing to lose!

My husband Dan thought it all sounded a bit too 'hippy' for him and seeing as I have a father who barely wears shoes and a mother who loves tie dye and Ylang Ylang I couldn't blame him really. But he agreed to give it a go to relieve my anxieties surrounding a loss of control during birth.

Soon we were with two other lovely couples all relaxing in the South Downs whilst Holly took us through her wonderful course. We left that day with a book from 'The Calm Birth School' and bags of positivity with Dan a convert. Although initially we told anybody and everybody who would listen about our wonderful day spent with Holly, our family worried that we were preparing ourselves for an unrealistic experience and didn't want us to get our hopes up and the friends I told who were already mummys responded with the badge of honour replies; 'Oh well you can plan for these things to help but you won't be remembering music when it comes to it' or 'there is no point having birth preferences, I remember when I was like you.' So it went on until Dan and I learnt to keep our keep our approach to the birth between the two of us.

At 34 weeks I hadn't seen my midwife in a while and still had concerns about the size of my feet and I was developing a rash between the stretch marks on my abdomen which was unbearably itchy and it was spreading across my body. I'd done some self-diagnosis online and concluded I had a PEP rash, which is harmless but insanely itchy but wanted a second opinion on the feet. My midwife had gone on holiday so I rang triage, explained my symptoms and was told that they were not concerned as I didn't have a headache or itching on my palms or soles. They hadn't actually heard of the PEP rash before which we found time and time again when seeing GPs and Midwifes. It was only when we got to consultant level that there was a shared understanding despite a quick Google showing that lots of women suffer from it.

Two more days went by and soon I wasn't sleeping and had a rash all over my body. I was also itching where there was no rash. My feet were still enormous and I was crawling the walls so I decided I was going to manoeuvre a few hoops to get seen by somebody. Triage was called back and this time I told them I had itching on my palms and soles. I knew that they asked this to screen this for possible obstetric cholestasis which is diagnosed by blood test and I was desperate to have my blood tested to rule this and pre-eclampsia out. Sure enough this time they gave me an appointment and the relief washed over me.

Once in the Day Assessment Unit I dropped the facade about my palms and soles and expected to be dismissed quickly after that but the midwife still seemed concerned and despite having looked up PEP in her book (another who hadn't heard of it) and agreeing I had that and ruling out pre-eclampsia with a protein test she still wanted to check for cholestasis as thought I had unexplained symptoms still. Luckily for me entered a midwife who was currently researching cholestasis and so took a keen interest in me. She ran through what would happen if it was cholestasis and told us that induction is recommended and all about about a clinical trial for a medication. We listened but I knew I was only there to rule it out. It was a Friday afternoon so she told me to expect a call on Monday with my blood results. We left there feeling pleased that we had 'ruled out' everything and could now relax...

Everything shifted very quickly when we were called at 8pm that night by our lovely research midwife who told us that she had stayed beyond her shift to see if the bloods had been done and the bloodwork showed I had obstetric cholestasis. My bile acids were elevated and she was concerned enough to seek a second opinion about whether to get me into hospital over the weekend to monitor but it was agreed I could come in on Monday and have a second test and to meet with a consultant.

Cue a mad weekend of me researching the condition as though it was 2006 and I was an undergrad again . I found that there was an increased rate of stillbirth with cholestasis in the seventies but as of the nineties this additional risk disappeared. However they don't know if that's because in the nineties it became common to induce at 37 weeks after a diagnosis of cholestasis had been made. What followed was even more research until I had to conclude that there was no clear answer about whether induction is the best course of action. I knew I wanted to avoid induction but also knew if I was one of the heartbreaking 2% to suffer stillbirth after refusing an induction I wouldn't forgive myself. My logic told me to hold out as the research didn't support the fear but my emotions told me to get induced straight away.

In the end when we met with the consultant on the Monday, (who was incredible by the way like all the staff we encountered ante natally in St Richards) we told her we wanted to avoid induction but try sweeps to get baby moving. She was happy with that and said she would support us going to 42 weeks if necessary but to see how we go and keep reviewing as the itching can increase significantly with each day as the bile acids in the bloodstream rise. We booked two sweeps and a review in and also agreed to be part of a clinical trial where I would take tablets that may be a bile acid medication or may be a placebo to increase research in the field.

The first sweep happened that day and I was told I was already 2cm dilated at 37 weeks and had a score of 4. This seemed positive so we set about planning long walks, curries, bouncing on the ball and every other trick in the book to get baby moving. No luck. Second sweep showed no change so we went home feeling a tad disappointed.

By the time we were reviewed I hadn't slept in four days because of the itching and was showering six times a day. Warm water relieved the cholestasis itching where there was no rash but made the parts of my body with a PEP rash on worse so I would have to carefully time them and then cover myself head to toe with menthol aqueous cream afterwards. I was totally miserable and felt as though my body was telling me that it was ready to be done with pregnancy now. At our review I sobbed as I said that I couldn't bear it much longer and that's the day we decided to book an induction in for three days time.

​In those three days we continued to try and encourage baby to come on his own but to no avail. So we amended our birth preferences for an induction and arrived nervously at St Richards on a Monday morning."
0 Comments

The Birth of Alfred Giacomo- Alex's Story

10/31/2016

0 Comments

 


So this is our third birth after the first one being a forced termination at 22 weeks and a second little gem (Mathilda) born 2 ¾ years ago. With our second baby, and our first experience of the whole birth/ labour cycle, things did not roll out the way we would have liked. Esther (my wife) ended up in theatre as the pregnancy was taking just too long, but then she was too far through for the doctors to intervene so Ventouse was eventually tried but with the cord wrapped around the baby’s neck it was a long drawn out affair which ended in Esther being stitched up for hours after she finally gave birth.


When Esther mentioned she wanted a home birth I thought she was joking! How could we contemplate this when the same life threatening incidents could re-occur?


She then motioned that she wanted to be in a birthing pool, and try hypno-birthing. I decided to go along with it as she argued me down claiming it was “her birth” and “happening to her”. As time got closer I realised this was not just an idea, and Esther had organised to hire a birthing pool from the hospital which was meant to ease the pain. I learned that Esther had some concerns too and these added extras were meant to help her- not cause me aggro and make life difficult, but make it easier.


So then came hypno-birthing. This I thought was really for Esther, but I was supposed to be involved. We had done an NHS session last time which gave me an idea of events, but hypno-birthing gave me tools to be a birthing partner, above all- confidence! We learned massage, calming techniques and the series of birthing events and we were given home work which was meant to put us in the right mind set for the forthcoming events!


The relaxation tapes were useful and worked on me as well at least in the short term but was it going to work when it mattered? I was still sceptical. 


As events unfolded I came to realise I was a lot more relaxed at home and Esther was too. It took me a long- long- long time to fill the birthing pool which kept me distracted for the majority of the time. I however felt a lot more confident and Esther seemed to use the breathing techniques without encouragement from anyone.


The baby was born in good time, despite being 9lbs 10oz which is on the heavy side. I cannot say whether hypno-birthing worked myself, but Esther is very glad we used it, and is certain it gave her an easier birth, which to me means more, as the event as a whole was a success.


We now have a baby boy and a little girl and are very happy.
0 Comments

The Birth of Alfred Giacomo- Esther's Story

10/31/2016

0 Comments

 


2 years after the conversation, after an utterly heartbreaking journey, we found out we were pregnant with our daughter. The pregnancy was full of anxiety and hormones and the delight that is ‘all-bloody-day-and-night-sickness’ right up until the day she was born.
I loved early labour with her but went into hospital too early and got sent home. We went in again, still not in established labour but I was allowed to stay. During the next few painful hours something happened – that lovely birth centre, water birth I thought I’d have went out the window and instead a panic fuelled epidural, motionless labour with constant monitoring of a now stressed baby who’s heartbeat was dropping with every contraction before disappearing. Rushed to theatre for a C-section they then picked up her heartbeat again and eventually she was delivered via Ventouse and I genuinely thought they’d pulled my baby’s head off!
At the time I didn’t care – I had my beautiful baby, she was here, but no way was I going through that again. 
But we never wanted just one child.
This time, there was no drama. The big fat positive appeared rather quicker than we’d expected. I had 1 day of sickness before I’d even taken the test, but that was it, no anti-sickness drugs for me and bar the extraordinary tiredness that comes from growing a small human – I felt ridiculously healthy and relaxed.
Already this was such a different experience and I had an overwhelming need for the birth of this baby to be a complete contrast to Mathilda’s.
Enter Holly. One of the group of incredible mummy friends I made after having Mathilda. Amongst many other things she teaches hypnobirthing, something I had never even heard of before but the more I found out about it the more it all made sense. I was also really keen to have a home birth, my husband Alex though – not so much! He needed a lot of persuading which Holly helped with. So we did the workshop, read the book and practised breathing and the MP3’s as well as setting up the ‘birth nest’ with pool, fairy lights and positive bunting and messages from my mama tribe as we got ready for baby to arrive.
After a week of frustrating stop/start contractions, then a bit of a mild panic as my very responsive baby was a bit too quiet for comfort, I agreed to a second, very thorough sweep and to return home instead of taking the registrars advice which was immediate induction. How empowered I felt knowing I had that choice and I could see on the scan and through the trace that actually my baby was just fine and maybe just getting ready?
I had the cramping of early labour but as this had been on and off all week we didn’t get our hopes up. We did however walk up the huge hill next to our house in the pouring rain and cramping became good, strong contractions.
Rather excited family members turned up for a cuppa as I bounced away, still not really believing it was happening.
We went to bed and I got about an hours sleep but rather than fizzle out as they’d done earlier in the week, these things woke me up!
My sister offered to come and keep me company and I bounced and chatted (and got a lovely back massage) but they didn’t seem to be getting stronger and so I suggested we both try and get some sleep. No chance!
But I did put on one of my Calm Birth School tracks and I’m sure that by being alone and relaxing things shifted up a gear. At 3.30am I called the midwives over for a look. The first one who turned up I really didn’t warm to. She examined me and said those dreaded words ‘you’re still 3cm’ (if she’d read my brief birth preferences she have known I did not want to be told this!) She said she’d watch and wait for a bit. Alex started filling up the pool – quite a mammoth task. I was having contractions in quick succession but apparently they weren’t lasting long enough and the midwives left at 5am. Somewhat despondent and getting pretty tired I put another MP3 on. Alex stopped filling the pool and went back to bed. Again, trying to relax and on my own. I was still breathing through the contractions which by now were really quite painful.
Mum texted to see if I was ok. I told her all I wanted was a bath, but the midwives had advised against it. Mum told me to ignore them! There was no hot water left in our tank but the pool had some in so I got in there! It was incredibly hot but oh, what a relief! Until the toddler woke up! I needed to focus on what I was doing so within minutes and still in her nightie she was despatched via another sister, Kathryn, to my mum and dads. Kathryn returned (she was desperate to be at the birth and actually we decided we really didn’t mind and she was amazing). She helped me to shower and timed my contractions. They were still really frequent but not very long. I was pretty much unable to speak by this stage, even in between as they were so close together and as I came out the bathroom Alex was on the phone calling in the midwives again.
Kathryn gave me quick lower back massages in between contractions as I couldn’t stand touch when they came so there was a lot of hand signalling from me for her to start and stop. Alex resumed his task of filling up the pool.
At around 8am in walked my lovely midwife Ruth who was so calm and her arrival made me instantly feel safe. She examined me and delightedly announced I’d made it to 8cm. All by myself. I felt like a frickin’ goddess but like all good goddesses I know my limits and asked to try the gas and air whilst we waited for the pool. By now Alex had an urn and 5 saucepans on the hob plus two kettles on the go – the pool was way deeper than we thought.
As I entered a drug induced high I was able to chat to the midwives briefly (Katherine who I’d met at a previous appointment had arrived) but this was short lived and I was soon puffing away pretty constantly to try and ease the pain. The only downside was that I couldn’t use my ‘in through the nose’  breathing I’d been practising but I still tried taking it in for 7 and out for 7 and controlling my breath when I could. 
The pool seemed to take ages to get to the right temperature but once I got in  it felt amazing. I could move in a way I just couldn’t on the floor and within five minutes my waters had gone. Partly drug-induced, but I like to think these was some self-hypnosis as I really let my body take over and I still find it absolutely incredible the way I felt my baby moving down inside me (and popping back up again!)
I had Alex and Kathryn’s hands and barely noticed the midwives except for when they checked baby’s heart rate, and apparently this little chap was mega-happy throughout.
The gas and air bottle ran out as he crowned! Getting his head out was not easy so the midwives asked me to turn around and I dropped the mouthpiece. This meant for the final few pushes it was all me and I was totally aware of what was going on. I felt his head and watched as he emerged. The most disgusting but wonderful thing I’ve ever seen. 
I did it. I had my baby. And a bloody big baby at that (9lb 10oz) at home, in the water with very little drugs or intervention. I was utterly ecstatic. 
We waited for the cord to stop pulsing as I held this beautiful, calm creature in my arms. My mum and sister walked in moments after he was born, unable to wait any longer. 
The placenta was taking its time though, finally coming as I stood up to get our of the water. Apparently (I later learnt) that if you can’t see the bottom of the pool then midwives start to worry and you definitely could not see the bottom of our pool.
Alex held Alfred Giacomo whilst I had a couple of stitches to try and stop the bleeding. I also had a double injection to try and contract my uterus but it just wasn’t playing by the rules.
On inspecting my placenta it appeared that a tiny piece was missing. My lovely midwives tried so hard but in the end they had to tell me that I needed to go into hospital.
I have no memory of Mathilda meeting Alfred, despite being in the same room. 
When the paramedics walked in I burst into tears.
When the same registrar I’d seen just the day before walked in to talk to me I burst into tears.
I know you can’t plan your birth but it felt like it had all gone so well so why was this happening now?
I used my breathing exercises and positive thinking as much as I could in theatre as they put the spinal in my back and talked me through the procedure. I tried really hard to stay strong but all I wanted to hold and get to know my baby – so the poor theatre staff were asked every few minutes “how long?” “are we nearly finished?”
By the time I got out I was shaking like a leaf (exhaustion/adrenalin) and couldn’t move because of the spinal. 
I felt so weak.
But I had done it and I had my boy.
I felt like I was treated like a VIP I hospital, and knowing how much I wanted to be home with my baby they did everything they could to get me better and out as quickly as possible.
It turns out I lost quite a lot of blood which is why I felt so shoddy and whilst it didn’t end up anything like I imagined, I can still say I had the birth I dreamed of having, I am so utterly proud of myself and my whole family, and something Alex will need some future persuasion on – I’d do it all again in a heartbeat!!
​
Picture
0 Comments

Ellie and Neill's Story

9/30/2016

0 Comments

 
"On the evening of 16th March (a week 'overdue') I started having some pretty convincing twinges, and we settled down to listen to our natal hypno CD. During the CD the twinges slowed down so I went to bed at 11pm, miserable and deflated. An hour later, I woke from a dream where I was having contractions to find that it wasn't a dream and that this was the real deal! I timed them for a bit and they were every 4 minutes or so, so Neill started inflating the pool while I came downstairs and laboured over the back of the sofa. I called my midwife Mandy and she said she'd be over straight away, as my last labour was only 4 hours. I tried to call my friend who'd offered to look after my older two children but I couldn't get hold of her, so I tried my back up childcare and they didn't answer either! Eventually I called my mum and she said she'd be straight over. During this time my contractions became quite sporadic and were between every 4 and 8 minutes. As soon as I knew my mum was on her way over they went straight back to every 4 minutes. In my previous labour I loved it when Neill did the 3 2 1 relax from our hypo class, and he did it throughout this labour too. Mandy arrived after about 40 minutes and my contractions were already feeling quite intense. She just kept her distance and didn't do or say very much which I liked! My mum arrived and went straight upstairs to the kids bedroom in case one of them woke up, but luckily neither of them did. Neill continued to set up the pool while all this happened but he was having trouble getting enough hot water in there, so it was getting pretty cold. I kept begging to get in and getting annoyed when I couldn't. I asked for some gas and air to get me through until the pool was full, which I'd asked Neill to question if it happened. He said 'are you sure?' and I think I said something along the lines of 'do it or die, Blumes'!! I kept going upstairs to pee and my mum kept asking if I was okay, I think she was worried but I managed to stay in the zone. The contractions were getting really really intense by this point and I kept imagining putting all my fears and pain in a hot air balloon and cutting it free, which I think I'd heard in one of Maggie's CDs. Eventually the pool was ready and I got in, and the water was such a relief. Almost immediately I felt like I was in transition as I felt out of control and scared, but knowing that it was natural and that it meant I was closer to birth, I relaxed through it. I felt a small urge to push so followed it, but nothing happened. I carried on trying to push for about an hour but my contractions slowed down until the were practically non-existent. Mandy was great and really let me follow my instincts, and eventually I told her I thought something was wrong and she suggested getting out for an examination, which we did. She found there was a lip of cervix in the way which is why nothing was happening. She moved it out of the way which was really uncomfortable, but I breathed through it and it was over in a jiffy. I got back in the pool and I felt the need to push straight away. Because there'd been no natural hormonal build up it was super overwhelming, but just knowing there was a reason for it feeling so intense was helpful and I stayed calm, although I did scream a lot when pushing which I hadn't done in my previous two labours. I gave a huge push and got most of his head out, then gave another little push for the rest of it. Then I had a breather for about 10 seconds and pushed out his body in one push. I sat down and lifted him out of the water to look at him, and he was perfect  he was born at 6.12am, 6 hours after my labour started. We had skin to skin while Neill got my mum and the kids, who all came to have a good look at him. After 15 minutes I felt like getting out of the pool, so Mandy suggested trying to push out the placenta. I didn't feel hopeful as it hadn't come easily the last 2 times, but it flew out with one tiny push this time which was a relief! I lay on the sofa to be examined for tears while Neill had cuddles, and luckily I only had a tiny graze. I sat upon and gave baby his first feed while Neill and the midwives tidied up, then Neill dressed him while I had a quick shower. After that we all had a cup of tea together before the midwives went home, and I got to spend the whole day relaxing in my own bed with my brand new baby - bliss!  It was a much harder birth than my second, but still so empowering and even when things were a struggle I was armed with the knowledge that told me why it was tough, and I knew to trust my instincts, and I couldn't have got through it if it weren't for that. Neill and I often say our natal hypno class was the best money we've ever spent, as we have beautiful memories of our two hypno births and I guess you can't put a price on that!"

Ellie Blume- attended a refresher course in March 2016 expecting baby number 3

​
Picture
Holly having a cuddle with Earl
0 Comments

Michaela and Pete's Story

9/30/2016

0 Comments

 
"I had to go in on Tuesday to be induced, had three pesseries from Tuesday 10am and last one Wednesday 12pm. I had managed to get to 2cm and paper thin cervix. Moved to labour ward at 8pm weds waters broken by arm. Contractions started and they gave me till midnight to try and get to 4/5cm so I could have water birth etc. But sadly when I was checked despite good strong contractions at every 3 mins I hadn't moved past 2cm. So we went on the drip. They let me have a monitoring machine that enabled me to move around as much as I like and not once had to get on the bed. Using a ball and huge bean bag lovely dark quiet room, music on massage oil I went through the whole way to 9cm with just breathing through them, they upped the drip every half an hour and got to 12 on that so they were quite strong.., lol. At 4am I was (9cm) started being sick which was no fun, and had an anti sickness jab. It was then game on and time to push although my cervix was still holding him back ever so slightly do I went onto my side with one leg up on the ball I had a very very small cut as at 40mins I was so tired and just needed him out. I used gas and air from 4:10-4:40. And that was it.. So deffo can say I used my hypno tools and managed to stay calm, breathe and get in the zone. Pete did great at helping me talking to me and pressure points etc. Little man was born 4:40am he flew out all in one push, skin to skin and delay cord clamp. 7lb 12oz. Perfect stats. First feed 60ml straight off haha. We had great support throughout and the midwives were really on board with our labour plan. Once I had a little stitch up we were left alone with snacks cuppa and not checked on until I buzzed to get a towel for the shower. Haha. At 9am we went onto postnatal ward. He had all his checks and hearing etc all 100% and we came home at 3pm yesterday so we can start resting and settling in. It's all been very calm and nice. We can't thank u enough for the lessons we learnt with you it was the best thing we did."

​Michaela Daly- attended 2 day workshop in January 2016 expecting baby number 2.
Picture
0 Comments

The best gifts for your friend who's just given birth

9/8/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
I threw the question out there today in various parenting circles- "What is the best gift you received as a new mum?"

Full transparency, I was genuinely interested because I'm hoping to add a retail element to my business soon. I was gearing up for all the answers i was hoping to hear- slings, cloth nappies, washable breast pads, cute outfits, teething necklaces etc etc.

Do you know what the overwhelming answer was?

TIME.

I've been inspired to write this list, these are my 5 best gifts you can give your new mummy friend.

1. TIME to bond with their baby.

Help out with all those boring tedious household chores. Run the hoover around. Do the washing up. Hire them a cleaner for the first month if you really want to push the boat out. Anything you can do that means she can snuggle up on the sofa or in bed with her precious new bundle so they can get to know each other.

2. TIME to talk about their birth.

Having a safe space to openly discuss her birth with you. Her highs and lows, her experience, how she feels about this amazingly life changing event she's just been through. Make a cuppa each, take a pack of biscuits and simply listen.

3. TIME to focus on any older children.

If this is baby number 2 (or 3, 4 or more!), I guarantee you it will have crossed her mind more than once that having this baby has seriously damaged her relationship with any other children. Now I'm not saying offer to have the new human for hours on end, but a cuddle or offer to watch the sleeping baby so she can do a puzzle, push a swing, read a story. Meet them at a park or soft play and sit with the little one so she can have some much needed big kid time.

4. TIME to eat a hot meal or enjoy a cup of coffee.

So this one probably involves either cooking some meals or helping stock the freezer with easy nutritious ready meals. Help her look after herself and stay well- putting something in the oven, then serving it on a plate can be done one handed if needs be, cooking from scratch? Less so. Be mindful that lots of meals will probably need to be eaten one handed too...
Make her that coffee. Offer to cuddle baby so she can drink it hot. Consider buying her a thermos mug- safer to drink with a baby, and will stay hot longer. Winner.

5. TIME to feel normal.

A 15 minute hot bath on your own has never felt so appealing as when it suddenly feels unobtainable. Likewise a shower to wash your hair.
A pampering treat to look forward to when she's ready to leave the baby.
An offer to baby sit so she can have some time with her partner.
So often, we get lost in the fog of new parenthood, we forget that we also need nourishing too. Its a cliche, but you can't poor from an empty cup.

0 Comments

Always "Mummy", Never "Me"?

8/21/2016

0 Comments

 
I don't care how you parent your children.
I don't care whether you work full time, part time or are a stay at home mum.
I don't care how old you are, how rich you are, how spiritual you are.

I *do* care about you though. Your mental health. Your emotional wellbeing. Your essence that makes you more than "Mummy".

You find me any mother of young children, and I'll show you a woman who sometimes forgets she even has a name.

We spend so much time attending to our childrens needs that we forget to look after our own.

This weekend myself and some lovely fellow therapists and practitioners ran two retreat days, especially for stressed out mums. The days were full of yoga, relaxation, holistic treatments, yummy food and much needed child free time. Our mission was to deliver a day of de-stressing and unwinding, in a friendly, welcoming environment suitable for everyone. 

Heres what some of our attendees had to say about the experience....


"Mind, body and soul restored today and I left feeling like I could take on the world. Unable to get down from the fluffy white cloud of pure, self centred, self loving and self soothing joy, best day and so needed.​"

"A wonderful recharge, put together by an amazing group of women with the best yoga and quiche in the world."

"Today was simply wonderful, a very much needed chance to unwind, relax, recharge and have fun, with beautiful mama company, in gorgeous surroundings. Cant wait till the next one!"

"Great company and blissful pampering and relaxation. Thank you!"

"A big thank you to you all for a perfect much needed relaxing day with great company. At the start of the day all my muscles were very tight after a busy stressful week but now I feel amazing very calm and no aching muscles very relaxed and ready to start the week with a clear mind thanks again looking forward to the next one."


​If you would like to find out more about upcoming events please follow our relaxation Facebook page.

The Still Point days were held at The Healing Factory, where the lovely Kathryn Holt works her massage magic!


The yoga sessions were run by Jo North who is starting classes for beginners in East Dean in October. For more information you can contact her on 07590413609 or girlinwellies27@gmail.com

Megan Davis does the most fantastic lymphatic drainage massage and can be found on 07976761682 or megandavis1973@gmail.com

​Sadly not present this weekend but a very popular member of our team is Sophie Penfold of My Holistic Journey who is a reflexology specialist. 

And me. Holly Heather, hypnobirthing teacher and relaxer of mums of all walks of life... my magic even works on puppies!
0 Comments
<<Previous
Forward>>

    Author

    Holly Heather

    Archives

    July 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    April 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    June 2016
    August 2015

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Services

BirthCalm
BabyCalm
ToddlerCalm
Birth Preparation

Learn more

About Holly
About CalmFamily
About The Calm Birth School
​
Blog

Support

Contact
FAQ
Terms of Use
© COPYRIGHT 2015. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.