This is my favourite photograph. 
This is my mama boobing me in the 80s with our cat tinker and dog William. 
I have always loved this photo. It has sat in pride of place in my parents sitting room my whole life. Mum looks so peaceful. So content. So natural. 
Motherhood is a whirlwind. Dirty nappies. Sleepless nights. Sick everywhere. Loneliness. Overwhelm. Exhaustion. 
But in amongst it all are these perfect moments of calm. 
I have always wanted to be a mother. It's always felt like my calling and this picture has always symbolised everything I hoped having a baby would be. 
And it's been everything, and so much more.

Why are baby shows bad for your bank balance and birth experience?⭐️
Having just sat sandpapering my legs with the totally essential grooming kit I got enticed into buying today, I've been reflecting on the day I've had. 
A friend and I roadtripped up the A3 to the Baby and Toddler Show at Sandown Park. 
Before I begin, I've had a GREAT DAY. Not just a good one, but one of those rare legendary days full of happiness, sunshine and laughter whilst geeking out on the latest baby innovations. 
As mothers of two each (and her with another on the way) we'd like to think we are now experts in what we deem "essential" for a new baby. Both very different lists when you compare them I'm sure. But there's something about these clever events, their shiny marketing, sparkly sales people and beautiful displays that make you think you need ALL THE THINGS. I'm not even having a baby and I found myself marvelling over clever cushions and blankets, wondering whether I needed new night lights, and excited by the idea of a self sterilising bottle. There were things we could both agree were totally ridiculous and consumerist, but it's very easy to get sucked in as an experienced parents- I feel for the brand new parents-to-be who wouldn't have left with any boot space or much change from a grand. 
But do you know what I think *should* be an essential? 
A positive birth experience. 
Never mind what you are going to dress them in, push them in, wrap them in, wash them in, put them to sleep in- how they enter the world is bloody important. How you FEEL about their entry into the world is important. 
Not one stall for birth preparation. No books. No hypnobirthing. No information about staying chilled out for the most important day of your baby's life. 
It might not be shiny or sparkly, have different speed settings, come in multiple colourways or be self sterilising, but I think it should be considered essential. 
When your baby is a toddler, teenager, adult, will you remember which buggy you pushed them in, which brand of baby food you fed them, which blanket you wrapped them in? Maybe. 
Will you remember their birth? Always.

Today we've been celebrating my eldest's half birthday. She is the most head strong, determined, feisty little creature now, but oddly she was the calmest baby. I can remember I kept waiting for it to get difficult, almost embarrassed to tell people that I was finding my baby to be quite a chilled one. 
Quite early on, I discovered attachment parenting. A lot of its principles seemed to fit nicely into what I was doing anyway- breastfeeding, not bothering with much routine, and using a sling a lot of the time. This started just for convenience with dog walking but soon morphed into a way to keep her happy and be able to carry on with normal life. The more enveloped in this lifestyle and journey into what five years ago felt like anti-mainstream parenting, the more tools I discovered that worked for us. Bedsharing. Cloth nappies. Gentle discipline. I found a tribe of very similar mums, both online and in real life and soon forgot that the way I was parenting could be seen by others as anything other than normal. 
The last few days I've been familiarising myself with the Babycalm book in preparation for my upcoming training. Everything in it stems from science and evolution. Instead of treating babies like a problem that needs a solution, the book gives you a range of tools and ideas to help calm them, and to give you confidence that you are raising a very normal human infant not a monster manipulator. 
I would urge any new mums or mums to be to find a copy. It really is an absolute essential read and I hope it generates as many lightbulb moments for you as it did for me the first time around.